Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
