singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
