no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
