Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
