You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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