So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
