Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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