I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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