wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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