Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
