That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
