I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
