About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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