Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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