We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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