YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
