ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
