How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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