Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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