I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
