So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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