all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
