I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
