The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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