are you so shy because you have an std?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
