You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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