party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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