That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
