god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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