The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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