i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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