its not stalking. its research.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
