Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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