Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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