I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Im part way to drunk.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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