If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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