you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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