Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
