You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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