i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
