her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
