i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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