I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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