You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
