glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
