is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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