Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
