carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
