That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
