i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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