if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
