when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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